I have been in a rather introspective mood since my last post. In being compelled to look myself in the face, which I had avoided for so many years, and observe my past behaviour, I saw things that did not make me proud of myself. At first there was anger and disgust, then mostly sadness. Slowly, progressively, in order to deal with pain and fear and harshness, I had become selfish, self-centred, and cynical — proudly so, even! I watched the world with contempt, from a distance, yet to my mind, I was only being a realist... a realist who shunned mirrors.
It would be easy to fly back to the comfort of that familiar carapace whose existence I have finally acknowledge. But something tells me it is time to leave it behind. I am slowly, progressively learning to see my surroundings from a fresh perspective, with understanding, tolerance, and compassion, for both others and myself.